Is this for real?
Absolutely! Just place an order and you’ll be a proud owner of a can of our latest formulation of Squatch Away!® brand 200% guaranteed Sasquatch Repellent.
Does it work?
Absolutely! We’ve been perfecting our formulation for 400 years. We’ve yet to have anybody collect on our guarantee. We stand behind our products. Accept no substitutions from our inferior competitors.
Do you have a Sasquatch attractant?
We’re 100% committed to our core focus of repelling bigfoot. Attracting Sasquatch is a completely different skillset. That’s like asking a firefighter if he’ll set a fire for you. Same topic, different application.
However, we do have a sister company, Yawa Hctauqs™, that’s been working on a Sasquatch repellent, but they haven’t had anywhere near the success that we’ve had. Frankly, we’re all kind of amazed that they’re still employed. Maybe they’re just a tax write off for somebody.