Timeline
Fizzlestix’s Sasquatch Burger Named the Official Burger of Squatch Away!®
Fizzlestix’s Sasquatch Burger Named the Official Burger of Squatch Away!®
Sasquatch Away rebrands to Squatch Away!
Sasquatch Away rebrands to Squatch Away!
In 2019, we rebranded and unveiled another new logo. We learned our lesson and trademarked our new logo. Hopefully that will keep soda and movie companies from appropriating our intense efforts.
Sasquatch Away is featured in “Retail” Comic
Sasquatch Away is featured in “Retail” Comic
Thanks for the shout out, but we want to go on the record that Sasquatch Away does NOT work on bears.
Whatcom County, Washington declared a Sasquatch protection and refuge area
WHEREAS, legend, purported recent findings and spoor suggest that Bigfoot may exist; and WHEREAS, if such a creature exists, it is inadequately protected and in danger of death or injury; NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED by the Whatcom County Council that, Whatcom County is hereby declared a Sasquatch protection and refuge area, and all citizens are asked to recognize said status.
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, this resolution shall be effective immediately. APPROVED this 9th day of June, 1991.
Squatch May Fall by John Grisham
Squatch May Fall by John Grisham
In 1990, a little known author used Sasquatch Away! as a pivotal plot element in the legal thriller “Squatch May Fall”.
Sasquatch Away The Musical
Who can forget the “Sasquatch Away The Musical”? The star studded cast and 20 original songs were the talk of Broadway back in the mid 80’s. James Cromwell‘s portrayal of multiple Sasquatch during the production was a sight to behold.
Unfortunately all extant video recordings of “Sasquatch Away The Musical” were destroyed in the 2008 Universal Studios fire. It was a great loss to the world.
There are rumors of an updated “Squatch Away!® The Musical”, with a target release October, 20th 2027. We’ll keep you posted as to the status of this production.
Yet Another Logo Unveiled
In 1976, we unveiled yet another new logo. This time, a year later, some unknown movie stole our logo design. This is getting annoying.
Patterson and Gimlin test new Sasquatch Away formulation
Patterson and Gimlin test new Sasquatch Away formulation
1938 Marketing Campaign – Keep Calm ’cause Bigfoot’s Gone
1938 Marketing Campaign – Keep Calm ’cause Bigfoot’s Gone
We were very pleased with our slogan “Keep Calm ’cause Bigfoot’s Gone”. Come to find out, the British government’s Ministry of Information copied our 1938 marketing campaign. Seeing that they used it in preparation for World War II, we did not discourage this repurposing. Unfortunately, this was not an isolated repurposing of our various branding and marketing efforts.
Another New Logo Unveiled
Another New Logo Unveiled
In 1936, we unveiled another new logo. Yet again, a year later, another, larger, business stole our logo design and, of all things, put it on a movie studio.
New Logo Unveiled
New Logo Unveiled
In 1890, we unveiled a new logo. Unfortunately, a year later, another, larger, business stole our logo design and put it on a soft drink. Ridiculous.
Sasquatch Away is standard issue for United States Army Corps of Topographical Engineers
Sasquatch Away is standard issue for United States Army Corps of Topographical Engineers
William Henry Harrison Uses Sasquatch Away During the Battle of Tippecanoe
Governor of Indiana Territory, William Henry Harrison, used Sasquatch Away in the Battle of Tippecanoe to ensure that sasquatches would not interfere with his troops, thus helping his soldiers win the battle.
Lewis and Clark Expedition take Sasquatch Away on the first American expedition to cross the western portion of the United States
Lewis & Clark found Sasquatch Away to be a critical element in their successful trek across America
David Thompson, widely regarded as the greatest land geographer that ever lived carries Sasquatch Away on all of his travels
David Thompson, widely regarded as the greatest land geographer that ever lived carries Sasquatch Away on all of his travels
Occassionaly, a Sasquatch would not resort to intimidation and chaos under the cover of darkness
Occassionaly, a Sasquatch would not resort to intimidation and chaos under the cover of darkness
Wampanoag Indians introduce what is to become Sasquatch Away to Pilgrims
Actual photograph of a Wampanoag Indian showing Pilgrims that there is an alternative to cowering in your homes while Bipedal Hominoids cause intimidation and chaos under the cover of darkness.
200% Guarantee
Our Guarantee: If a Sasquatch, Yeti, Abominable Snow Monster, Ohio Grassman, Yowie, Lake Worth Monster, or Big Foot bothers you or your belongings after properly applying Squatch Away!® we'll send you two cans of our latest formulation.
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We Care!
Squatch Away!® is
Specifically formulated to not disturb the
Endangered
Pacific Northwest
Tree Octopus!
The best thing about Squatch Away!® is their awesome merchandise! I bought a hoodie early on, and it’s the best cold-blockin’, squatch-stoppin’ garment on the market.
Thank you Squatch Away!®, for putting my cryptozoological fears to rest.
W. Forsyth
Randolph, Ohio
We were thinking about why the creature had suddenly ran away, we realized that I had been wearing my Squatch Away!® hat. It had saved us all from a terrible fate and we have Squatch Away!® to thank!
B. Hoff
Charlotte, North Carolina
Squatch Away!® has changed my life! I haven’t seen him once since I started using this product. All it takes is one spray! It’s like magic!
T. Bush
Alliance, Ohio
"Since I started using Squatch Away!® Sasquatch Repellent, I have not seen a Bigfoot."
E. Fronk
Ravenna, Ohio