Governor of Indiana Territory, William Henry Harrison, used Sasquatch Away in the Battle of Tippecanoe to ensure that sasquatches would not interfere with his troops, thus helping his soldiers win the battle.
Resolution No. 92-043 WHEREAS, legend, purported recent findings and spoor suggest that Bigfoot may exist; and WHEREAS, if such a creature exists, it is inadequately protected and in danger of death or injury; NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED by the Whatcom County Council that, Whatcom County is hereby declared a Sasquatch protection and refuge area, and all citizens are asked to recognize said status. BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, this resolution shall be effective immediately. APPROVED this 9th day of June, 1991.
*Sasquatch Away does NOT work on bears.
Our Guarantee: If a Sasquatch, Yeti, Abominable Snow Monster, Ohio Grassman, Yowie, or Big Foot bothers you or your belongings after properly applying Squatch Away!™ we'll send you two cans of our latest formulation.
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Squatch Away!® is
Specifically formulated to
not disturb the
Endangered
Pacific Northwest
Tree Octopus!
The best thing about Squatch Away!® is their awesome merchandise! I bought a hoodie early on, and it’s the best cold-blockin’, squatch-stoppin’ garment on the market.
Thank you Squatch Away!®, for putting my cryptozoological fears to rest.
W. Forsyth
Randolph, Ohio
We were thinking about why the creature had suddenly ran away, we realized that I had been wearing my Squatch Away!® hat. It had saved us all from a terrible fate and we have Squatch Away!® to thank!
B. Hoff
Charlotte, North Carolina
Squatch Away!® has changed my life! I haven’t seen him once since I started using this product. All it takes is one spray! It’s like magic!
T. Bush
Alliance, Ohio
"Since I started using Squatch Away!® Sasquatch Repellent, I have not seen a Bigfoot."
E. Fronk
Ravenna, Ohio